If Sarah was still here and I was going through the same kind of grief, she would be exactly the kind of friend I would need at this time. She isn’t the kind of person who subscribes to platitudes and religious garbage like ‘God wouldn’t give you more than you can handle’.
She would want to meet me for coffee and donuts, and chat about whatever needed to be talked about. She would listen with an open mind, open heart, and open arms.
That’s because that was the kind of person Sarah was. She would suggest going for a walk or a hike, and because I am not super outdoorsy, I would probably choose a walk. We would go down by the river, or maybe walk the trails by the Hearst Center for the Arts. If we went down by the river, we would stop in the newest park area we have built in our town and we would admire the new sculpture, ‘dream house’. Sarah would have definitely loved that sculpture. I would imagine that we would probably stop to take some silly selfies.
And if I didn’t feel like talking at all, we would stop and sit on a bench, watching the river go by.
And I would feel like I was seen and cared for, which is funny, because through this program I have felt seen and cared for and I have learned to love myself the way that Sarah would have loved me through this. Ironic, isn’t it that Sarah’s murder brought me to the place where I would have felt the most love and cared for during the aftermath of her murder?
And we would eventually laugh and things would feel better, if even just for a moment.
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