Order Out of Chaos

It's funny, because I was ALL set to write a pity-party tirade about how I can't seem to get this new play out, and how it was inspired by something I saw on a PBS program about Frank Lloyd Wright and his rediculously chaotic life and how his designs are supposed to be order out of chaos, an island of serenity in a tossing world, and I wanted to write a play about this idea, and then i realized that I was doing exactly what these characters were going to do, making order out of chaos and how chaos always comes back around because it's the order of things.

So I need to learn to love the chaos.

But it's still damn hard to see the characters on the stage in my mind, to even see parts of the stage, but it's in the fog, just on the edge. It wants to come forward, I want it to come forward, but it's not time yet.

Not yet time.

It's no surprise to me that I'm my own worst enemy

So the writing retreat was a bust due to: bad vacation planning, bad weather and bad sickness. I guess it always can't go the way you want it to.

But, I did start working on a play, 'Man Out of Time', simply because I wanted to edit it and make sure it was ready for submission. I discovered it was so far from being ready that I am pretty much revising the whole damn thing. I might now sound happy about this, but I actually am.

My struggle with my writing and subtext has continued. I know that the masters make it look easy, but damnit, I'm a human who has subtextual conversations all the time with people. I should be able to do this.

But it's okay. I'm working on character motivations and what is underpinning their behavior and all that. It seems to be helping. I guess I won't know until later, you know?

Here's the other thing about 'Man Out of Time'. It's really more disturbing to me than it was before. Which is good, I should feel some emotion from it, otherwise, why would i have written it? I shouldn't have otherwise. I'm afraid it might be just a rehash of stuff from before, but who knows.

Also, I can't BELIEVE I am having as difficult of a time as I am getting an informal reading of my play together. Seriously. This is ridiculous. People are busy and that's cool, but let me tell you, it's getting a bit out of control. I think I am just going to have to try and get some people together and just do it. I wanted to have some theatre people involved as well as other people, but man.