I've Become One of *Those* People

It's been two years since my last blog post.

A lot of things have changed.

The kids are older--almost 5. Almost in kindergarten and it's almost time for me to get a full time job.

I have been working part-time for the last month and a half and it's been hard on everything--the writing, the house, the kids, the husband. Trying to stay above it all--failing admirably.

And I am not writing plays right now, although I think one of the last posts from the last 5 years might have mentioned it.

I am working on the same novel I have been working on since October 2017. I started with 'Dusk' for NaNoWriMo 2017 and October is the official start of when I started researching things for the novel and ideas I had, mostly because a friend of mine had started a work of dystopian fiction based on the possible horrible trajectory of Trump's presidency and policy, and something in those discussions planted a seed that I am still tending to today.

It's strange working on the same thing for almost three NaNoWriMo cycles. I have never worked continuously on a work for this long. Like, no exaggeration, I have been writing in some manner since I was like 7 years old--I am going to be 44 this year, so that's like more than 4 decades. Never worked on something continuously this long. The only other thing i have worked on comparably was the NaNoWriMo win from 2016--'In the Bunker', which was based on the story of Janusz Korczak, which i had been researching and attempting to write for 15 years, and the story of the Goebbels children, which i had been working on for significantly less time (maybe 3 years). But I didn't work on it continuously like this

I point this out because this work seems different. Everything seems difference since I won NaNoWriMo with 'In the Bunker' in 2016. 'In the Bunker' felt like the work I had been trying to write my whole life leading up to that, and now I have maybe more confidence? Maybe more tenacity to keep on keeping on with it, even when the work sucks? Like I have always said mean, mean, mean things to myself as a writer that would often derail my work, and I think those things are still there, but maybe not as loud? It's kind of hard to describe without sounding like a raving lunatic.

At any rate, I am working on 'Dusk' still. I am world building, which is something i haven't ever done before, and it is hard. And I'm not even starting from scratch with a world that doesn't exist. I am taking our current world and pushing it through a dystopian sieve of whatever the crap the president thinks he is going to accomplish if he had no holds barred, and going from there. It's still a lot of work to make it work, and I am enjoying the different things I am learning about. Well, enjoy might be too strong of a word. Or the most inadequate word for something so incredibly scary, sad and possible.

I am also creating at least two new religions, which is also hard. But enjoyable.

I am also listening to 'Furiously Happy' by Jenny Lawson, and I am feeling super inspired. Especially when I heard Pretend You're Good at It (which, is honestly best just heard or read by her, so either get the book and look for that chapter, or listen to the book, either way, super good and super inspiring). Like Jenny, I have mental illness that I am in treatment for. And I often have to Pretend I'm Good at It. I feel like that might be my first tattoo, because it feels like something I NEED. And I feel like maybe i have been taking Neil Gaiman's advice this WHOLE THREE YEARS without even knowing, because when I heard that story, i felt seen and like I had just figured out how I was doing what I was doing the last three years and like I'm going to continue doing.

So, that is my brief update.

I also joined the PTO at the elementary school my kids were going to for pre-school and I was the secretary, and it was AWESOME. I really really enjoyed it. SO MUCH. Who am I? I was sad to leave this school (pre-school here is weird--not required by the state for each student, so there's only so many seats and there's more kids than seats so it's really a crapshoot and some kind of alignment of the sun, moon and stars to get into a class and which class you end up at). So we were not at our 'home' elementary, which we will be at this fall.

I am also helping to pass the bond for the new high school. I am being absolutely the most irritating human on the internet about this, so I might as well add that irritation to my blog. bond.cfschools.org for more info. VOTE YES ON JUNE 25.

And that is what I am up to.