Sunday, February 21, 2010

well, it was bound to happen

I don't think I've talked much about feeling stuck on here. I've tried to keep this blog upbeat and positive, but sometimes it's unavoidable to deal with the opposites.

You must know that I do not love and that I love you,
because everything alive has its two sides;
word is one wing of the silence,
fire has its cold half

Pablo Neruda
100 Hundred Love Sonnets

So yeah. I've been sending out packages left and right and I've gotten about seven rejection letters this week alone. Several of them have been extremely personal--stressing that it wasn't the play, it just didn't fit with them, and that I should submit again. Those are nice. Heck, any kind of response I get back is nice, but those are the ones that keep me going.

So when you're wondering if you got into graduate school (that was the big secret project--Hollins this coming summer), and you're getting reject letters left and right and you're struggling with several plays, one of which has you researching dead and missing soldiers, you start to question your purpose in life.

But, even thought I am feeling down about writing in general at the moment, I knew I will make it through. I have a thousand times before, and I will this time. I'll just get back to writing and plow through and I will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Even when I think things are the worst, I still wouldn't give this up for anyone or anything (although there was times in my past where I tried to). It's sustained me and kept me going. All I need to do is give my writing the same consideration.


Lindsay Price said...

You know, there's something to be said for not being suited to any other possible occupation. I kind of find it comforting that I have no other skills so I just better keep at it. It helps to totally love playwriting too....

Toni Wilson said...

I agree. I do have other skills, but none that I enjoy as much as playwriting. So I guess we better just keep writing!